Cruel
by chapstickhobo
Summary: For nearly 4 years Wally and Dick have been sneaking around, keeping their purely physical relationship a secret from the rest of the world. Lately the two have been drifting apart. Will either boy do a thing to stop it, or will their true feelings remain forever unsaid? Warnings: Birdflash, Top!Dick, Established relationship, Graphic sexual content. Now with more angst!


**AN:** Not much plot here, just another excuse to write some porn and a lot of angst. Hope you dig it.

If enough people care I'll post the short little one-shot I wrote about their first time together, but I didn't think it was necessary to the story.

I don't actually like this fic very much, but it's definitely better than other stuff I've found on this site. So there's no reason to just keep it on my computer forever when some people might enjoy it.

:D

This is AU. It ignores the relationships at the end of season 1 and also ignores Robin's evolution into Nightwing. Also, they are probably OOC, but that's usually necessary for the angst. So I don't really care.

** DISCLAIMER:** DC owns it all.

* * *

**DESIGNATION: ARTEMIS B07**

_Don't notice me, don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Shit._

"What's wrong boy wonder?" Artemis' usually snarky tone was even more 'turbing than usual right now. "You look like someone took a shit in your utility belt."

Robin shot her a nasty look but otherwise remained unprovoked. "Well?" God, he wanted to punch her in her nosy little face, how could she carry on so casually , like it was just another day, like the world Dick knew wasn't crumbling away under his feet.

"What's wrong?" she pressed.

'_I wonder if it would be quicker to just lie to her or wait until she leaves on her own.'_

The archer nudged his shoulder a little too hard to be considered playful and quirked an eyebrow.

"I outgrew my uniform." he finally acquiesced, resent clear in his tone.

"So what?" Robin shot her a nasty look and stood up to leave. Artemis made a move to follow. "No, seriously. I don't get it...what's the big deal? Aren't you almost 17? It's about time you had a growth spurt, I thought you were gonna look like a middle schooler forever."

"I wish." Robin mumbled, though he was already too far away for Artemis to possibly hear.

"Oh come _on_!" Dick could still hear her shrill tone echoing down the hallway after him as he headed for the gym. He had some serious tension that needed working out."There's no reason to act all angsty about it! Bats will whip you up a new uniform in no time! You'll be on the bench for a week at the most..." Then finally. "Aaaargh!"

Artemis just didn't get it. No one did, because no one knew. It wasn't about the uniform, or the crime fighting. It wasn't even about how obnoxious it was to adjust to controlling a bigger - and not nearly as agile - body. Nope. It was about Wally.

Wally: whom Dick had been having a secret, purely physical, relationship with for nearly four years now.

Wally: the boy he'd been in love with since he was 9, practically since the first time they'd laid eyes on each other.

Wally: his _best friend!_

Wally who wouldn't want him anymore.

Dick never made it to the gym. Instead he stood frozen for nearly an hour in the changing room. Looking at this new - unmistakably manly - body. Trying to will himself to shrink, to be small again, thin, girly. He needed to look more feminine, dainty. That was what Wally liked, after all. Wally had always praised his small frame in the dark. He knew the speedster loved his soft skin and how light he was to lift. How easy he could be completely wrapped in the older boy's arms.

It was the harsh truth of their situation. Wally had never really wanted Dick, he had just been a horny teenage boy and the acrobat had always been willing... even insistent.

But that had been back when he was small; Back when Wally could turn off the lights, close his eyes, and pretend. Pretend that he was with someone else, a fantasy, maybe even a girl. Now there was no amount of darkness or imagination that could turn him back into what Wally wanted.

There would be no more stolen touches, no more quickies in the kitchen at , no more training sessions that ended in heated groping against a wall. It was over. He would never get to kiss his way down Wally's chest again, or get to watch the way his gorgeous green eyes flutter as he came. The way he'd always gasp out some broken curse when Richard took the last inches of him into his throat.

All that was gone. He could practically feel it becoming a just a memory - flawed, fading, imperfect memories - it had already been months since since they'd last touched each other. Dick had been afraid to initiate anything. The sting of being rejected was something he was still unprepared for...and of course Wally hadn't tried. Why would he?

Dick grunted as the physical pain of his loss shot through him. _Never again._ The words, the harsh reality seemed to echo around his skull . Robin couldn't think straight. He could hardly breathe. Nausea roiled in his stomach and suddenly he just couldn't take it anymore.

The sound of shattering glass broke him from his thoughts. The mirror in front of him clattered to the floor in bloody pieces as pain lanced up his arm from the many shards of flying glass. Dick hadn't meant to do anything so drastic and stupid.

It felt like life was spiraling out of his control.

The door to the bathroom swung open and Dick flinched at the red blur as it slid to a halt barely a foot away.

"Dude, what happened!? I heard..." Wally's eyes widened as he took in the scene before them. Robin was humiliated. He wanted to cross his arms, hide his bare flesh, broad shoulders, and his burgeoning 'happy trail' from K.F. He didn't even care that he was hurt. Physical pain was easy to handle. The pain of Wally's rejection, on the other hand, was something Dick wasn't sure he could bounce back from.

The familiar pressure of unwanted tears built behind his eyes and he hurriedly redirected his gaze to the floor - wincing at the brightness of his own blood splashed crudely across the white tile.

Why couldn't he have just left his mask on. Hadn't he suffered enough, did he have to cry in front of the speedster now too?

"S-stay here. I'll get some bandages..." Wally stammered, and Dick couldn't tell quite what emotion that was in the other boy's voice. It was a tone he had never heard from Wally before. Dick wanted to be far away, preferably before the redhead returned with those bandages.

Not that Robin actually had time to go anywhere. Wally was gone and back within seconds. Hovering right next to him, clearly unsure of what exactly he was supposed to be doing. A gentle, but definitely hesitant hand touched his shoulder.

_Great. He can't even stand to touch me now._

A sob threatened to escape Dick's throat but he managed to choke the bulk of it down. Only a small whimper escaped.

"J-just go sit down or something. We'll fix you right up." The pathetic imitation of Wally's usually cheerful voice spoke volumes about how the speedster really felt; but Dick did as he asked, pausing for a moment by his discarded clothes as if considering taking a moment to redress himself. Not that it mattered, Wally had already seen. And there was no amount of baggy t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans that could hide his changes from the redhead now.

Yet despite his nerves and self-consciousness - not to mention the pain in his head - the sight of Wally leaning between his legs still sent a jolt of heat straight to his groin. _Shit._ He wasn't going to embarrass himself like this. Whatever might have been between them before was clearly over, and Robin really didn't want to endanger what was left of their friendship by popping a boner right now. Dick closed his eyes and concentrated, focusing his full attention on doing some complex mental math problems.

_Nothing cools you off quite like non-linear differential equations._

Dick had almost finished his third problem when he began to notice a change in Wally's touches. It had been clinical before. Nothing more than what was necessary to bandage his wound. Cleaning and tending to injuries (though they were usually battle wounds) was business as usual for them. But now..

His touch had become tender, light, even seductive. Even in all their trysts over the years Wally's touch had never been so...sweet? hesitant? _loving?_ It was a type of romantic attention that they had never shown to each other, and it was throwing boy wonder for one hell of a loop. Their relationship had always been a purely physical one - all about hormones and quick relief.

Not that they had ever really spoken about it; but they were friends, best bros, and Dick had understood from the beginning what Wally really wanted. And Dick had freely given it to him. His body and nothing more, nothing dangerous, nothing..._unwanted._

Though it was painful at times, Dick was sure he had never given away how he truly felt, never even _hinted. _

He had been so careful.

Goosebumps broke out across his pale skin as Wally's fingers reached his collar bone and began to draw lazy patterns down the muscles on his chest. No amount of math was going to cool his jets now. Dick could already feel himself rising to full attention at the speedster's familiar touch. His body was anticipating a release that would never come. _Ever again._

"Dick.."

'_What?' _He wanted to snap. _What do you want? 'Why are you torturing me like this?'_

A calloused hand brushed across the peak of his already stiff nipple and Dick fought to swallow a thick moan that threatened to escape. Though he couldn't stop the way his cock twitched eagerly in response, or the tiny bead of precum forming at the tip.

Robin turned his face away and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. This was humiliating. He may not have the willpower to ask Wally to stop, or to push him away - but there was no way Dick was going to give the speedster the satisfaction of seeing the need in his eyes, he always felt so damn exposed without his mask on.

Wally could have his way with the acrobat's body; but Dick would be damned if he let that goofy grin, those soft lips, that boyish smattering of freckles anywhere near his heart again. Not if he could help it. They had already done their damage.

"Dick." Wally's voice was more insistent now, raw in a way that he had never heard the older boy sound before. "Open your eyes."

God did Dick hate how much he wanted to obey. Why should he care so much - or at all - how Wally was feeling. Why should he let himself be bothered by the pain in his friend's voice. Dick was hurting too dammit! And did Wally care...had he even noticed?

_'That's not fair.' _His own brain was clearly turning against him. _'How can you expect him to know how you felt when you tried so hard to hide it?'_

Love Sucked.

Wally had no right to sound so strained. Dick had given him all he had ever asked for and _more_: friendship, love, his body...it had all been Wally's for the taking. He just couldn't let himself get sucked in again. Whatever this was, Dick couldn't afford to believe even for a second that there was hope. That his feelings might not be just one-sided - because if he had to lose something like Wally again...well, he wasn't sure he could survive something like that twice. Not intact anyways...

"Fine, don't look at me."

The decision was taken out of his hands when Wally tucked his fingers under the hem of Dick's boxers. There was a too quick rush of cold air as Wally removed Dick's last line of defense with superspeed. The unexpected shock earned a sharp gasp from the bird. Turning his head back towards Wally, accidentally locking his gaze with a pair of tortured green eyes, glittering with a thick layer of unshed tears.

Dick didn't have any time to process what it might mean though. The bud of understanding and doubt that had begun to blossom in his brain was quickly snuffed out as Wally's head dipped down and enveloped the weeping head of Dick's cock in his mouth. Eyes still wide and locked on confused blue orbs.

Never in his life had Dick been so aware of every embarrassing sex noise or facial expression; and he was sure that his discomfort showed clearly in the flush that burned to the tips of his ears. Yet Wally's eyes remained locked on his face as he bobbed up and down, taking more and more of Dick's swollen flesh in with each stroke of his lips.

He needed to look away, but it was so hard to deny himself the chance to watch. They had so rarely done anything like this face to face, in a well lit room, no masks, no anonymity - and it was so _unhurried_. Yea, this was a definite first. It was one thing to feel the pressure of a hand on your thigh, or the wet heat of a mouth wrapped around your shaft; but being able to watch...

Well, watching was a totally different experience to say the least. There weren't words for the way it felt to watch yourself disappear down someone's throat, or to watch the rhythmic flexing of their jaw as their tongue wrapped around you. It was too erotic for words and too intense for Dick to handle.

It could have hardly been two minutes since Wally began sucking him off and yet there was no doubt in Dick's mind that he wasn't going to last much longer. He searched the parts of his brain that weren't entirely consumed by pleasure, desperate to find a way out of this situation - to prevent this premature release from shaming him in front of Wally. Dick reached out a hand to gently push back on Wally's shoulder, but the redhead merely narrowed his eyes and kept on determinedly.

"Wally..." Dick said in warning, though the name came out in an effeminate, breathy moan that he hated to know was his own. He pushed again, more insistent this time, pleading with his eyes for Wally to understand without spelling out the mortifying truth. But the speedster was playing dirty, and in response Dick felt the tongue massaging his length begin to softly vibrate. It was a cruel trick that never failed to send Dick into an incoherent state of pleasure. A spiral that was intensified by the actual sight of Wally's body and it trembled; his face screwed up in an impossibly sexy look of concentration.

Dick came too soon. _Way _too soon. Though he did manage to bite his lip hard enough to keep from calling out Wally's name again. He refused to give Wally that satisfaction. Though Dick had to avert his eyes as the speedster gave a few more lazy sucks. The sight of a string of his own come making a slow path down the boy's chin was incredibly hot, and if Dick looked at the redhead for even another second he was going to be up and ready for round 2.

And maybe later that would be O.K., maybe by some turn of fate Wally still wanted him - the blowjob seduction routine definitely pointed in that direction - but first he needed to understand why this had even happened. He needed to know where they stood. He needed answers.

"What the _fuck _Wally?" Well, Dick had meant to be just a little more tactful than that, but there was little sense in mincing words during a situation like this.

Wally looked like he had just been slapped, but he bounced back quickly, leaning forward to kiss his way up Dick's chest. God that felt good.

"Wally.." the redhead paused momentarily in his climb to nibble on the junction between Dick's neck and ears. "Wally. You have to stop." the acrobat raised his hands to pull Wally's face away, but only ended up pulling him closer when his mouth latched onto Dick's pulse point. A strangled moan escaped the smaller boy as Wally moved forward so his body was flush against Robin's own, his clothed erection pressing firmly against Dick's own recovering shaft.

Gentle hands hooked themselves under Dick's hips, pulling his lower body forward so that their cocks ground together with delicious friction. He felt Wally's hot breath against his ear and a shiver arched up his spine.

"Say you still want me..." Richard felt his body stiffen at the meaning behind Wally's words sunk in. They needed to talk about this, but it was so hard to think clearly when Wally's hands were cradling his ass that way. Dick felt a finger teasing his entrance and couldn't stifle a gasp as it began to vibrate. He thrust himself backwards, desperate to get more of the speedster's touch. It had been so long since Wally's hands had been on his body like this. Too long.

"Wally, _please._" he pleaded, sliding both of his hands down to undo the clasp of Wally's jeans; whining when the redhead brushed his hands away.

"Not until you say it Dick...you just have to say you still want me."

"Ung, Why are you being so _cruel_?" Wally pulled away quickly and Dick immediately mourned the loss of his touch.

"_Me? _Why am _I _being cruel?" the sneer was so out of place on Wally's face that it was painful for Dick to watch.

"Wally I-"

"No, Dick, You wanna talk about this? Then let's talk about this..." the speedster crossed the room in a flash and threw Robin his clothes, but kept his glasses. Dick dressed himself quickly and followed Wally out of the room. They both headed up the stairs in silence, ducking into the first empty bedroom they found.

"O.K." Wally began, advancing on Richard in a way that was almost predatory. "Let's talk about how _cruel_ I've been. Let's talk about how I can count the number of times you've let me kiss you on the mouth with _one hand. _Let's talk about how you can't seem to stomach being with me unless we're in the dark; or about how you wouldn't even sleep in the same tent with me when we went on that camping trip just because you thought someone might _suspect._"

"Wally -"

"No. I'm not finished. _You_ wanted to talk, so let's talk about how I've watched you flirt with Zatanna, Rocket, even _Barbara_ for years, and you've never even held my hand, or told me if you find me attractive."

"You flirt with M'gann _all the time_-" Dick was grasping at straws now and he knew it, but it was all too much to process at once. It felt like his brain was scrambling to keep up.

"She's been dating Conner for years - _openly_ I might add - and she's practically a sister to me. It doesn't mean anything!"

"Well neither did Zatanna or...or Batgirl, they were just-"

"_Dick._ I have been your, your 'booty call' for years. I have never asked you for anything, and I never complained. I've never tried to force my feelings on you, or even asked how you feel about me." Wally's voice began to shake and Dick took a step forward to comfort him and flinched when the speedster took a step back.

"I've lived in constant fear for months now because you've been drifting. You started coming to me less and less and I couldn't figure out _why. _I tried everything to get you to want me again and none of it worked - you just s-stopped wanting me."

Dick couldn't speak through the lump in his throat, he wanted to tell Wally how wrong he was. To just cross the room and hold him, do anything in power to wipe his doubts away...but maybe he shouldn't. Robin had already hurt Wally so much, perhaps it would be better to just let him go, maybe he would find someone that would never mistreat or neglect him the way Dick had - whether accidentally or on purpose.

"What did I do wrong?"

_Nothing. You're perfect, always have been. _

"I mean, is it something I can fix? You always seemed to enjoy the way I...you know; and back there you were into it, or at least I thought you were." Wally's face was practically glowing from the intensity of his blush. It was one thing to do the things they did in a dark room, it was something different entirely to talk about those same things in a well lit one. "But I can learn, if there's something you wanted to try."

_I love you, I just wanted you to love me. But..._

"If that's really how you feel Wally then maybe you should find someone who-"

"Don't you _dare_! You know better than that, you know _me_ better than that. I don't want someone else, dude, I want you. I miss _you_. I..." Wally let out a frustrated growl and threw his arms up in exasperation. "Just tell me how to fix it."

_There's nothing to fix. We've been lying to each other and denying ourselves for years. Can we please just be together now?_

Yea, that might work. But Dick had a better idea. Show not tell.

"Is that why you brought me to a bedroom?" Wally just nodded. Looking around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

Richard backed up until his knees hit the edge of the bed and sat, not once taking his eyes off Wally's.

"Then come here." Confidence almost completely renewed, Dick scooted himself back so that he was reclined against the pillows. Wally sped to his side, presumably making a detour trip to turn off the lights, since the room went suddenly dark. Quickly, Dick reached over to turn on the bedside lamp, feeling a small rush of pleasure at the look of surprise on Wally's face before the speedster pulled himself together and moved to straddle Robin. It was a position they'd been in countless times before...only now Wally seemed uncertain.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Kiss me." Dick said unflinchingly, fighting a smile at the way Wally's gaze darted to his mouth, and the way his tongue darted out nervously to wet his lips.

"Don't mock me...what do you _actually_ want?"

"A kiss." Dick repeated himself patiently. Enjoying the way the speedster squirmed at his request. Hesitantly, Wally dipped his head forward and planted a chaste kiss on Dick's lips, and Richard didn't waste any time before responding enthusiastically, parting Wally's lips gently with his tongue before delving in to explore the speedster's mouth.

The speedster responded shyly, massaging Dick's tongue clumsily with his own before pulling back suddenly, looking embarrassed. "That was awful, I'm sorry. I don't really know how to kiss like that."

"Then consider this a mandatory training session." Dick had barely finished his sentence before Wally's lips covered his own once more, setting an enthusiastic pace. Robin nibbled gently at the speedster's bottom lip, earning himself a needy moan. He felt Wally trying to pull away again, but Dick wrapped his arms around the older boy's neck to prevent his nerves from ruining the moment. Instead, the boy wonder deepened their kiss, sucking in what he hoped was an incredibly sexy manner on Wally's tongue.

So... "What's next?" the redhead asked, gasping, when they finally came up for air.

"Why are you in such a hurry Walls, aren't you having fun?" Wally nuzzled against his neck affectionately in response, planting soft kisses against Dick's pale skin and making his chest feel like it just might burst with the improbable perfection of this moment.

"You have no idea dude, but don't you want me to..?" A warm hand pressed firmly against the front of Dick's pants, palming his still sensitive cock. Robin couldn't help but moan softly in response, but he had a plan, and he wasn't going to let himself be distracted by a handjob. Quickly, he grasped Wally's wrists and flipped them over so he was looking down at a very disheveled speedster.

"Actually, I had something else in mind. Take off your shirt." There was a blur and a light breeze before Wally lay still again under him, now wearing only his boxers. Though he began to squirm uncomfortably as Dick's eyes slowly inspected his bare chest. This was the first time he had ever gotten to see the speedster exposed like this, and Robin found his eyes struggling to absorb and memorize every freckle.

"Um...Dick? Something wrong? I can turn off the lamp if-"

"No." Richard grabbed the speedster's wrists and pinned them before he could reach for the light. "You're beautiful." Wally snorted and freed his wrists, reaching for something to cover himself with, but Robin recaptured them easily. "You _are. _I should have told you before." Wally murmured something that sounded like 'Yea, right." and continued to fidget under his scrutiny.

Dick slid smoothly down Wally's body, kissing his way down the speedster's chest until he encountered cloth. The temptation to tease was creeping in, and Robin shot a playful smirk up at Wally before lightly tracing the outline of the speedster's erection through the fabric with his lips, pulling back with a soft chuckle as Wally's hips rose off the mattress, seeking more contact.

Dick grabbed the elastic waistband with his teeth and slowly dragged the boxers off. He released Wally's wrists as he slid out of reach but gave a firm reminder that the 'no touching' rule was still active. Before kissing his way back up Wally's legs, Dick took a moment to rid himself of his own pesky clothes. Trying to make the mini-strip-show as entertaining as possible for his captive audience. A challenge which - judging by the erratic vibrations shaking his partner's freckled fame - Dick was passing with flying colors.

He had never felt so powerful before, until now Dick had always just felt like a toy when he and Wally were together like this. But, of course, it would seem that Wally had been feeling much of the same. Now though, Wally was really looking at him. _Him._...and it wasn't just because he wanted sex, it was because he wanted Dick. The experience was euphoric. The pressure now fell on Dick to let Wally know how much he really wanted, well...Wally.

To think that both of them had suffered silently for years, feeling unwanted and used, when they could have been doing things like _this_ all along. It wasn't just about the sex either. It was about all the dates, cuddling and endearments they had missed out on over the years.

Dick's trail of kisses finally reached the apex of Wally's thighs and the speedster actually whimpered as Dick sucked leisurely on the pale skin he found there, his mouth barely an inch away from where he knew Wally wanted his touch most; pulling back to look at the mark he'd left with an odd sense of pride.

Finally, he turned the full weight of his scrutiny to Wally's straining length. A pang of longing and a strange sadness coursed through the acrobat as he realized that this was the first time he'd gotten a good look at Wally like this.

"Guess it's m-more impressive -_ung-_ in the dark, huh?"

Dick's eyes darted up to Wally's face, and taking in the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the slight blurring of his form as he shook. He had one arm thrown across his face and the other hand had twisted itself into the mussed bed sheets. "Not gonna lie. I didn't expect freckles.." Dick joked, enjoying the way Wally's cock twitched when his breath ghosted over it, the shaft already slick with precum.

"Sorry." the speedster whispered, barely audible, but Robin caught the way his head (and presumably eyes) turned to the bedside lamp again. Dick used the hand that wasn't holding his body weight to draw lazy circles on the speedster's hip and brought himself back up so he could look directly into Wally's darkened green eyes, nudging his arm gently out of the way.

"I like them." Wally's eyes widened and swept across Dick's face, and the brunette knew he was looking for any sign of deceit in his features.

"Dick.." Wally began, but Dick dropped his hips, grinding his throbbing erection to the speedster's own over-sensitive flesh. Wally responded a bit too eagerly. Dick knew from experience that the redhead sometimes had trouble controlling his speed when he got nervous or overexcited. For a minute the acrobat actually tried to keep up with Wally's borderline spastic pace, but eventually settled on grabbing the boy's hips, nibbling gently on his earlobe and whispering a plea for him to '_keep still'_.

Wally only responded with a slight nod, too busy worrying his bottom lip to form an english sentence. "None of that." Dick hissed as he gently pried Wally's mouth open with his lips, running his tongue softly over the speedster's bottom lip before pulling back to watch his partner's face as the boy wonder grasped both of their members as best he could and started pumping. He loved the ease with which his hand was able to glide over their precum soaked skin.

"D- dick..." Wally gasped, and Richard managed to pull his own thoughts together for long enough to smirk and choke out an actual sentence.

"_That's more like it."_

"_ohgoddickyes-aah" _Wally was forgetting to speak at normal human speed, Dick loved that he could do that to the speedster "_shitnn-ohgod__**please**__letmetouchyou."_

Using his knees to support his weight, Dick slid the hand he had been propping himself up with over to Wally's, lacing their fingers together easily once the speedster caught on, trembling fingers squeezing Robin's small hand almost painfully.

_ "areyouclosedude? I'msoclosepleasetellmeyou'reclose." _

Truth be told Dick wasn't very close at all, he had already gotten off less than 20 minutes ago, but he didn't really need to be close yet. Wally had to catch up first. Dick elected not to answer, speeding up his already quick jerks and dipping his head to plant sloppy, open mouthed kisses on Wally's shoulder. _" Mmmngh. Ican'twait. Ihaveto-mn-i'msosorry."_

Dick felt Wally throb in his grip as hot come spurted out across his hand and both of their stomachs, and Dick wasted no time in swooping in to lap it up; thoroughly enjoying the way Wally shivered underneath him. "_Ijustloveyousomuchandohholyshitthisissoembarassing ."_

_I love you too. _He might not have understood every word of the speedster's exclamation, but he caught the ones that counted.

"Now we're even." he lunged forward and planted a closed mouth kiss against the older boy's swollen lips, mindful that Wally probably didn't want a mouthful of his own come.

"Y-you didn't finish." Dick hated to hear that defeated tone in Wally's voice. He hadn't done anything wrong, hell, Robin had hardly let him do anything at all.

"The night isn't over yet, _babe_." Dick loved being able to use Wally's go-to term of endearment without fear of being reprimanded, but he couldn't just lie here forever basking in the moment. The boy leaned forward and began to nibble impatiently on Wally's collar bone, speaking in a strained voice against his flushed, freckled skin. "How long until you're ready to go again?"

"I don't know...soon, I think." Wally sank back against the pillows and tangled his fingers in the brunette's hair, holding him fast against his neck, soaking up the affection while he still could. "Was I any better?"

"Hnm?" Dick grunted as he continued to leave love-bites up and down Wally's neck.

"Whatever I was doing wrong...is it better?" There was a moment where he looked at Dick expectantly and the boy wonder did his best to scramble a passable response in his lust fogged brain, but he was too slow. "Nevermind, stupid question...what's next?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Dick flipped Wally over and pressed him face down into the mattress. Keeping the redhead pinned as he dragged his tongue slowly down the speedster's spine. "Why don't you take a guess?" Robin dipped his tongue into the cleft of Wally's ass, spreading his cheeks delicately, enjoying the way the older boy went immediately stiff beneath him, letting out a startled yelp.

Dick slid back up his body, using the saliva he left around Wally's hole as lubricant, sliding his now painfully hard cock between his slick cheeks, letting out an embarrassing keening noise each time he brushed against Wally's entrance and the speedster's ass muscles clenched deliciously around him. He let his torso fall forward and planted affectionate kisses across Wally's shoulders blade.

"Dick..." the green eyed boy's tone oozed barely repressed panic, and if Richard hadn't been so far gone he probably would have pulled back out of concern. "You know I haven't - I mean, we've never done _it _this way before."

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself, Dick forced himself to focus on what this night was supposed to be about. "Relax Wally," his voice sounded dark and animalistic even to himself "we don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

"Is this what you want?"

"Yes, " _sigh. _"but I don't want you _enduring_ this just to please me. I want you to want it too."

"I do!" Wally interjected hurriedly, "It's just that I never really thought about it, not until these past few months...but,"

"But?"

"I dunno Dick, I'm not good with expressing my feelings, not with words anyways. You've always been impossibly gorgeous and you kept getting older and you just looked better and better and..."

_Wait, what?_

" and then you stopped wanting me and I thought maybe you'd realized - I thought it might be because you...you know, _outgrew me._"

"**Never.**"

Whoops. That wasn't supposed to actually leave his head. It was just so hard to concentrate with Wally under him like this. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, they had barely started and Dick could already feel his self-control waning...though it was almost worth it to hear Wally groan without inhibition, or to feel him begin to rock back against Dick's cock. Clearly the speedster was warming up to the idea of learning to bottom.

"Promise.." Wally gasped, goosebumps breaking out across the skin of his back. "Just promise me, _please. _I know it's stupid, and childish, but I need to hear you say it."

Dick's tongue darted out to trace the shell of Wally's ear. "I will always want you Wally West. I _promise." _The boy below him shuddered and the vibrations that suddenly surrounded Dick's shaft were just unfair. Wally's hand darted out and pulled the acrobat's fingers to his mouth, pushing two of the thin digits past Dick's lips. The speedster sucked hungrily on them, coating every last inch with saliva.

The boy wonder moaned shamelessly at the wanton gesture. Pulling his fingers out and shifting to the side so he could press his slick digits against Wally's entrance. Dick's neglected member immediately began to protest the loss of attention, throbbing angrily between his legs. His first finger slid in with no small amount of resistance, and Richard gasped at how tight and hot it was.

"_Jesus_, Wally! You've never even touched _yourself_ here, have you?," Dick rubbed against Wally's prostate and his back arched needily spreading his legs further apart in a way that made the brunettes cock ache. "God, there's no way I'm gonna last like this, you feel incredible..."

"Hah...and how do you think I felt? I was barely 15 the first time I fucked you. I was a total wreck. I didn't even think I was going to make it inside."

_Well, that certainly wasn't how Dick remembered their first time._

"I couldn't tell, I thought you were perfect." he took the opportunity to add another finger and began scissoring, trying to stretch Wally out enough so that he might get to enjoy himself, and so that Dick could last more than thirty seconds.

When Dick finally added another finger and began to rub all three digits firmly against Wally's prostate, the redhead let out a long shuddering groan and immediately began to vibrate furiously, unintentionally increasing his own pleasure. It was too erotic for Dick to handle, and he was about to go mad from the ache between his legs.

"You don't happen to have any lube on you, huh?"

"Nah. Iwasn'texacly" _gasp, _"planning onthis you know." Dick gave a breathless chuckle, Waly just made another sexy whining noise and continued bouncing back onto his fingers. Frustrated with his reaction Dick withdrew his hand.

"I don'tneedit Dick, I'll be fineyknwmspeesrunadqlyps-"

"Wally, I can't understand you when you talk like that." Dick had gotten the general idea, but he needed to make sure Wally knew what he was asking for. The brunette watched as Wally tried to control his breathing, constant tremors of vibration slowing to almost a stop.

"I can't wait."

'It's gonna hurt even more if you don't..."

"I'll be fine Dick please just - mng'

A small hand reached around and tugged in slow, fluid motions on Wally's freckled shaft, but the redhead was having none of it, and slapped the pale fingers away.

Dick withdrew his hand and smeared his cock with the combination of their precum, lining himself up against Wally and pressing the tip against his hole. "You have to let me touch you, the distraction will help you adjust." Dick reached back around only to have his hand pushed away yet again.

"No Dick, I want to feel you, I don't want a distraction."

Leaning forward, Robin rested his left hand over Wally's where it held him up on the bed and let the speedster intertwine their fingers, planting a soft kiss on the older boy's shoulder as he slowly guided the head of his penis inside. Wally whimpered softly and tightened his grip on Dick's hand until his knuckles turned white.

Dick whispered soft encouragements against the speedster's racing pulse, repeating himself with each gentle thrust until Wally began to moan and rock back and impale himself on Dick's length.

It was absolute bliss, not that being on the receiving end wasn't equally mind blowing...it was just different, incomparable. Was this really what Wally always felt? No, that wasn't possible. Wally had trouble controlling himself when he got too excited, and Dick had _way_ more self-control. If it was this hard for him to hold back and go slow, there was no way Wally would be able to handle it; and since Dick had never gotten a friction burn from sex with the speedster, he had to assume that for some reason he wasn't as..._enjoyable_ as Wally. No big surprise there.

Dick knew he wasn't going to last very long, he knew that statistically most people didn't on their first time. Not that knowing that made him feel any better. Wally called his name and moaned for him to go faster and Dick felt his cock twitch and his balls clench in warning of his impending climax. Desperate to make Wally come before (or at least soon after) he did, Dick released Wally's hand - ignoring the small whimper of loss - and began to pump his cock, amazed at the amount of precum dripping from the tip. The covers beneath Wally were soaked with it.

"S-slow down dude. I can't...can't - _ohshit_." Dick ran his thumb against the weeping slit of Wally's cock and sped up his so far controlled thrusts forcing the speedster's legs further apart with his knees. Wally practically screamed as Dick slid in even deeper, burying his face into the pillow to muffle the sound.

"Thought you wanted me to go faster, _dude._" Dick was surprised at just how calm his own voice sounded when it felt like he was crumbling to pieces from the pleasure inside.

Without warning Wally's body clenched around him and Dick felt the heavy throbbing of the older boy's cock in his hand as hot come spilled onto the sheets below. It was such an erotic experience that Dick almost didn't realize that his own orgasm was about to overtake him; and he barely had time to pull out of Wally before he came violently across the freckled back spread out below him. One hand still gently pumping the boy beneath him as they rode out their orgasms almost simultaneously, eventually rolling off reluctantly to the side. Unsure of exactly what to do next. They usually just got up and dressed at this point, maybe saying a quick goodbye, or praising one another for their skill if it was a particularly enjoyable fuck. Dick had no idea how to just bask in the afterglow.

The speedster's head was still buried deep in the fabric of his pillow, showing no signs of moving anytime soon. Feeling awkward about the whole situation, Dick grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and cleaned his own come off of Wally's beautiful, pale skin, just so he had something to do. As soon as he withdrew his hand Wally rolled over onto his side, facing away from Dick, still holding the pillow tight over his head.

_This is bad._

Instead of basking in the joy of all the firsts they had shared in the last hour, now Dick fought back a wave of panic. He may not know how this moment was supposed to go, but he did know that it wasn't supposed to be like this. There should be cuddling and sweet whispers about how much they had missed each other - romantic bullshit like that. Instead, he just sat there, pulling his knees to his chest and trying to convince himself that everything was going to be O.K. Wally had already said he loved him, or at least Dick thought he had, understanding speedtalk was often more of an art than a science.

Should he leave? Dick didn't want to, he was afraid that would only lead to more another three months of silence and misunderstanding between them.

"You don't have to stay." Wally's voice was so distorted by the cloth that it was near impossible to interpret his tone, but Dick decided to take another chance. He folded the blankets over so that he wouldn't have to lie on come and shifted so that his body was nearly spooning Wally's, not quite touching their skin together. He let a few minutes pass, giving the speedster some time before he slowly wrapped an arm around the naked torso in front of him.

Wally let out a shuddering breath but made no move to scoot closer or away from him, and after another minute Dick got impatient enough to pull the older boy's lean form so that it was pressed lightly to his own. Tightening his arm around Wally's toned stomach.

"Dude. Stop. You've already done enough."

"Stop what? Holding you?"

"No." Wally answered too quickly, restoring enough of Dick's confidence for him to be comfortable planting a line of kisses up Wally's neck.

"That. Stop that. The kisses, the hand holding, the goddamn lamp..." despite the speedster's harsh words Dick felt Wally press himself further into his arms. "and those god awful compliments - You're usually a better liar Dick. Stop _indulging_ me."

"Wally, that's not-"

"Look! Just stop it O.K.? I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier, but this is too much. This has been nice...more than nice, but you can't keep playing with my emotions like this. I'm starting to actually believe that you lo- _care _about me."

"Don't be stupid.." Wally started to turn squirm in his arms immediately, trying to escape his embrace. Dick only tightened his grip. "Goddamit Wally, will you let me finish before you flip shit on me like that?" The body in his arms became still, too still, and Dick could feel Wally's muscles tense to the point of trembling...well, at least he was going to give Robin the benefit of a doubt. "I was _going _to say 'Don't be stupid Wally, of course I care about you. You're my best friend. I love you."

The vibrating started up again and Wally finally let the pillow fall away from his face. "I love you too Dick." Hesitantly he placed a hand over the acrobat's arm, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Dick thought he could really get used to this, but he needed to get their relationship clearly defined first.

"As a friend?" the speedster's grip tightened.

"Y-yea. As a friend." Dick smirked, who was the unconvincing liar now?

"As more than a friend?"

"...Yea." Dick leaned forward so that he could speak directly into Wally's ear.

"A boyfriend?"

A long, meaningful silence stretched between them before a small pained voice eventually answered. "More than that Dick." Boy wonder couldn't help but crack a wide smile. Those four words made him happier than being a hero ever had.

"Well then, Wally West, would you like to be my '_more'_ ?"


End file.
